Well, my warriors, no one tells you how you’re supposed to deal with grief so I am blindly finding my own way. Let’s just say, it has not been pretty. I can’t pay attention to anything longer than 2.3 seconds, I’m bored by reading and lots of things. Yoga used to be my go to but now, oh man, after one flow I’m distracted. It’s like ADHD induced by loss. I share all of this with you, my warriors of grief, because I am in storm with you ! I support your constant search for something that feels remotely normal or 1 second of peace. For all the pain, I will say this has been eye opening. I can truly agree that “everyone grieves differently”. It has been eye-opening.It just dawned on me, one of the last act of love I gave to my mom was cooking her a “Paris meal” with all her favs (see picture). I have to be honest there was not much Paris about it but the decorations.
Luckily, I am finding things that keep my attention and help me feel productive… cooking. Thank you god for the 938593 blogs and websites about different recipes. On a Sunday, when I am feeling like I am “supposed” to be at brunch and seeing friends, the only thing that makes me remotely motivated is cooking. I have keep sane by reaching for recipes from my grandmother and mother. So far I have made 3 soups, 2 casseroles, and ridiculous amounts of “gourmet” sandwiches. Let’s be honest some of these have not turned out well. The look on my poor boyfriends face when he bit into a barley/chicken/ tomato casseroles was nothing short of sadness. It makes sense that cooking is healing.
Please know you’re not alone even when it feels that way… believe me I have been there ( I am there right now!) I am still just in denial probably. Please reach out to us, to your friends, to your skills of coping… to anything that is healthy & healing.
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