Do you ever find yourself in investing energy into toxic relationships?
You’re not alone… I had spent 24 years doing the same & some days I still do. There was a time that I was in school full time, working full time, in internship, a girlfriend, a daughter, and whatever other role exists. Obviously something had to give, right? At that moment it had to be people who were no longer served a vital or supportive place in my life. It happen to be people that others would judge me for shutting out for years but it was a necessary detoxification.
How was I going to “be” and grow with toxic people in my life?
we all have choices and the ability to decide who gets a spot in our life. People say “bloods thicker than water” … I would really challenge us to think beyond this archaic notion. Its no longer enough to just accept the way people act towards us. Though we cannot change them, we CAN change ourselves. Easy, right? Not so much! Putting your essential needs (whatever they may be) is the first step. if you need a night in or someone to cheer you up for some reason, ask for it! You find out very quick when people are not true friends or supports. Better yet, get pissy when you need “alone” time. its our job and our friends to know if their the person only likes to talk once in a while or more often. It needs to be a good fit for both. Now don’t get me wrong, I have friends (some of my best)and family that I don’t talk to weekly but when we do my needs get more the met. Would you date someone who only wanted to see you monthly but you want to see them daily? maybe not because its not a good fit for your needs…. but if your not listening to your needs you might.
Its taken 30 years to find the “right” people in my life. Some just didn’t make the cut. No hard feelings, who has time to try so hard to make friendships work. Its like being an employer something people are not a good fit for the job. The job I’m advertising is important, its being a good, supportive, no-drama friend.
morale of the story….YOU have the choice who your friends are or which family members you associated with. listen to your needs… be present with how you feel when you’re with that person… its a part of the journey of being a Wellness Warrior!